Color me now not as stunned as you, Anonymous. Men and ladies develop up facet through facet. It doesn’t surprise me (although it bums me out) girl raised in a device that permits for harassment and abuse is also extra comfy attacking accusers than wondering a tradition that produces abusers. We’re seeped within the energy of fellows!
Next time, stroll her thru one of the vital meticulously reported tales of harassment — or don’t. For some nonbelievers, this can be analogous to the homosexual rights motion: They would possibly want to know one courageous accuser in my opinion ahead of believing (and supporting) the others. But by no means concern: I believe there are lots of nonetheless to return.
Friend or Ghost?
I've an in depth buddy who doesn’t reply to calls or texts when she needs to get out of a plan we’ve made. Then she claims to have “missed the messages.” This appeared believable the primary time, however after six extra, now not such a lot. The closing time, I sought after to mention one thing for the reason that lie used to be clear, and it harm my emotions. But I don’t need to wreck our courting. Any concepts?
This is a commonplace drawback — wherein I imply, I've behaved as badly as your buddy. I used to be anxious that pronouncing no to invites, or “I’ve had a rough day. Can we reschedule?” would make my buddies offended. So, I iced up and did not anything, then cooked up some baloney to feed them later. It’s infantile (and scarily self-important), however all of us have our vulnerable issues.
Be a pal and assist out. The subsequent time you could have dinner, say: “Amy, I’ll be fine if you want to cancel plans or reschedule. But pretending you didn’t get my texts hurts my feelings. Can you be more careful about that?” It didn’t wreck the connection when my buddy known as me out. Like you, he used to be simplest asking to be handled respectfully.
He’s the Cat’s Meow — and Allergic to It, Too
I simply began relationship a really nice man. And I imply “just.” We’ve had two dates. But he's significantly allergic to cats, and I've one. My rental is tiny, so I will’t quarantine the cat. Meanwhile, the fellow gained’t come to my space whilst the cat is right here. Also, I really like my cat. How would you maintain this?
Let’s now not undertaking too some distance down the street, both the place Mr. Whiskers is worried or differently. Most folks are horrible fortunetellers, and a part of the joys of a brand new courting is driving the teeter-totter within the second. (“It’s working!” “It will never work!” “Oh, yes, it will!”) Right now, you’ve met an amazing man, and you have got an impressive cat. Enjoy them each.
This fellow’s now not with the ability to discuss with your rental is a wrinkle. So, pass to his position, or while you know every different higher, take romantic weekends away. In six months, if issues are nonetheless going neatly, we will be able to revisit the cat. But for now, why complicate a just right factor?